Thursday, 8 May 2014

This One's Down To Me Now

Knowing what you want is not something that comes easily to everybody. Although some people always know what they want, others don't and it takes a lot of thinking time and narrowing down your options to get to the root.
I, for example, never wanted to go to uni but then came across a course that got my attention and made me change my mind at the last minute. Fair enough, I then realised that that wasn't the right path for me and that's how I ended in the situation that I'm now in.
I got my current uni choice through clearing and soon discovered that again, something wasn't right with it. I have now secured a place at a different university for the next two years but now that I have, I'm not sure if that's what I want. I don't have the drive or passion for it like everybody does - I've come to a place where I don't know what I want and I'm not sure if uni even fits in that.

I started looking at uni's in the first place because that's what is expected of us now. It's just what people do. We're all expected to go whether we particularly want to or not but racking up a £40,000 debt isn't something that I believe should be taken lightly really.
I mean, I'm eventually going to get a mortgage on a house and buy a car and with uni debt's aswell, should I add to that when it's not really something that I want that much anymore.

I think I need to get inspired and make a mood board/life board like Meg Ryan does in 'The Women' because those boards always seem to end with a good outcome.
It seems to me that it's about focusing. Focusing on what I want. Not what everybody thinks or wants me to do, but what I really want because after all, it's me that is living my life and me that needs to be happy in it.

As somebody said to me a few days ago:
'Don't fucking worry about what everyone else wants you to do'

(Even with the swearing I still thinks it's a simple sentence of inspiration).

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