Wednesday, 25 November 2015

The Search

'Will you take me as I am?
 Will you?'

This morning I was reading Wild by Cheryl Strayed and at the beginning of one of the chapters, there was a quote from a song called California by Joni Mitchell. I have never heard the song nor listened to any Joni Mitchell, but the words stuck with me. I laid thinking about my time in California and thought about how it really has taken me as I am. I feel more at home here than I do in my home country simply because California and the people in it, get me. Never before have I been quite so understood and all I can say is that it has been the best time of my life. For the first time I am not the girl that nobody really knows what to think of. No, for once I am the girl that people don't have to question because I fit in so well here.

Upon arriving in California, it did not feel wrong or disjointed. The fact that I was leaving behind my life and starting another one did not feel strange, instead it felt right, it felt oh so right. I had wanted to live in America for so many years and upon arrival, I felt as if I had been destined to do it.
Throwing myself into my life here has given me a great one and when the day comes in which I will have to leave, I will do it with great sadness. The friends that I have here are some of the best that I have ever had and the thought of having to say goodbye to them leaves me slightly speechless. I haven't had long enough with them. I have ignited something within myself that I want to explore more and I cannot get enough of the feeling. Maybe it is the desire to travel, maybe it is the desire to challenge myself, maybe it is the desire to live a life that is something other than ordinary. An extraordinary life.

Whatever it is, I want to keep searching for it.