Long distance relationships are tough. I knew that it would never be easy but they really do live up to their reputation.
I had a decision to make today and although it won't sound like a big one, it threw everything off and left us both feeling a little worse for wear. I was planning to Skype my girlfriend in the early afternoon but shortly before, a few of my friends came round and told myself and my flatmate about the completely spontaneous road trip that they were leaving for. I am all for spontaneity so this got me excited. Although I had a decision to make.
Do I go, not Skype my girlfriend and lose all internet connection or do I not go and Skype my girlfriend?
My girlfriend is always my first choice, always, but having to make that decision left me feeling as if I couldn't really win either way. Of course I was desperate to speak to her, but equally I have to make a life here. I didn't want to cancel on her. The distance has left us both fragile, I didn't know that we could both be so fragile, but it takes its toll sometimes. I knew that telling her that we couldn't speak today would be something that she would take with a head on struggle and when all her messages buzzed through with the returning wifi, all I could feel was that I had been the mean one. I had a great time out seeing pretty landscapes and driving down winding roads but her sadness centered itself in my brain.
I had made the right decision hadn't I?
