Saturday, 28 September 2013

The Real Thing

I have a friend. She started out as somebody that I sat next to in class and 6 months later we were and are inseparable. I had a feeling when I first met her that something good was going to come of it and I kept working on it. I remember thinking at first 'she's so quiet' but I trusted my gut (because that's always right) and now you can't stop the quiet girl from talking. I won't use her real name, but I'll call her 'H' instead so you know who I'm talking about. When I think about how close we are now and how we started out, it actually still really amazes me. People have the power to amaze!
Before I met H, I was quiet. But during the first month or so, I did all of the talking (I don't know how I didn't run out of things to say) and then she began to open up. There's a quote that says something like 'if you are interested in people they will open up quite wonderfully' and that really did happen right before my eyes. It happened so quickly that I didn't even notice it, but then I knew there was no turning back. I realised that she'd began to trust me and we used to complain to each other about our jobs that we hated (we both had the same job but in a different place).
I took her to the zoo and the beach and Starbucks and pubs whilst she took me to a stage of friendship that I'd never experienced before. I had started to think that maybe I would have to change to be people's friend (which I didn't like the idea of because I've always said that I would be nothing but myself) but H turned up and she accepted the person that I really am.
All of that opening up on both of our behalf's took place over only 6 months, but now a year later and you can see that we both make each other feel wonderful. Really wonderful.
My summer was filled with H. We can chat like nobody else, honestly. The first time that we did something outside of class, we went to Starbucks and sat and talked for six and a half hours. Continuously. Not an exaggeration.
I'm at uni now and I haven't been here long at all but it seems like forever. Not having her around is really hard because it's like she's become a part of me and I feel a bit lost without her. Going from having somebody that knows me as inside out as she does for the past six months to having to make completely new friends seems like such a strange thing to have to do when I have her.
The evening that I said goodbye to her before uni was not good. For about the first three hours I put the looming goodbye at the back of my mind and just had a lovely time with her but the last hour came and the idea of the goodbye appeared again. It sprung itself upon me and I couldn't escape it. I suddenly lost my happiness and couldn't even look at her because I knew that I wouldn't see her for a while. We were in a coffee shop and all I could do was have my head in my arms on the table because I couldn't and didn't want to face it. I managed to keep myself from crying, just about, and she sat there with her hand on my arm for about twenty minutes and we didn't know what to say. Neither of us could think of anything to say to make the situation better.

We had to leave and we went outside in the dark and had such a long hug, because we both knew that we wouldn't be able to hug each other for a very long time. But she gives the best hugs and sometimes I just need one of her hugs. Her hugs are from the soul.
After the hug, we just stood there looking at each other. Remembering.
We linked arms (we do that a lot) and stood.
Her hand slid into mine and I knew that even though I was going away, my friend wasn't going anywhere. I knew that nothing would change and that at least was the comfort that I could get from what was happening.
The car got there and that was it. The time to leave had come. We hugged again and tried to smile at each other through our teary eyes and as we both started to walk away from each other, our hands slid apart and I couldn't even turn around to catch one last glimpse of my friend. I couldn't face seeing her walk away from me. The car was only ten feet away but I didn't even make it to the car before the tears were flowing and it was hard to breathe. It was that really horrific crying that hurts your chest and you can't stop. I cried continuously for two hours because I couldn't imagine being without her.
She text me saying 'i'm such a wreck' and I was so much of a mess that I couldn't actually read her text through the tears that kept filling up my eyes. My eyes stung and my chest hurt. I felt like she had been taken away from me.

But what really matters is that I've found somebody that likes me for who I really am and that I met her in a place and time that I didn't expect. So if there's somebody out there or you find somebody that truly accepts you, don't let them pass you by because those people are hard to find and might not come around again for a while. It feels wonderful when you find that person and you don't want to miss out on that wonderfulness do you?

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