I have been a fan of Whitney Cummings for a long time now (Whitney was one of the best shows to ever air, I will forever stand BY THAT) so when I heard that she was releasing a book I got on that quicker than you would know.
It's labelled as a "self-help" book but this is not the patronising and frumpy kind of book that springs to mind; it is the type of self help book that you would imagine her to write because it is everything and so much more. She ends the introduction with the statement 'I straight-up want this book to change your life' and I gotta say, it actually kinda did.
To read stories from Whitney's life that have impacted her and to then get an insight into the way her brain works, not only makes you think, hey I can kinda relate to that but also, no matter the person, everybody has a thing about themselves that isn't so great. It totally normalises everything, I mean she is a kick-ass comedian, actress, co-creator of shows and now a director and yet she struggles with all the things that we normal folk do.
She talks about the way that she has rewired her brain to prevent herself being attracted to toxic men, spotting red flags in people and not ignoring them and realising that crying is ok and actually helps to heal. Reading this made me think that I could benefit from doing that. Rewiring my brain to think about things differently could hugely benefit me.
For example, one of the things that really stuck out was when she said that (and I thought I was the only person that does this due to monumental overthinking so to know that I have a comrade in this is comforting) she will agree to a plan and then immediately think I don't want to actually do that, why did I say yes and then worry about it for the next week. Now, I have an annoying habit of doing that a lot but Whitney reassured me that it is totally ok to decline at the time, for which she even provides a few coverall phrases and you don't have to feel bad about it because there is no reason to. I mean, if 'turns out it's kind of my dream to be left out of doing things I don't want to do' isn't relatable I don't know what is. This changed the way I think about things.
The other big thing that I'm working on getting those little neural wires to think differently about is toxic people. This is quite difficult from the get go because I genuinely seem to attract girls that treat me badly and mess me around because I'm 'too nice' (sidenote: since when is being too nice a bad thing, think I missed the memo on that one). I am now spotting red flags and saying no thanks, I can do without this is my life before I find myself with a girl that doesn't actually appreciate me or quite frankly respect me. I would often gloss over red flags and make excuses for people (as Whitney did, hey look we've got some stuff in common) rather than actually being like hey your behaviour is the exception to every other person, what are you doing?
And yes Whitney, I now realise that getting a phonecall from your partner for a chat is what should happen in a relationship and is not a point of praise because it is NORMAL. Thanks for bringing that up because I would always say look isn't she nice, she called me until I realised that I shouldn't have to congratulate them for this.
So it is pretty safe to say that I absolutely ate up this book and everything in it (I mean I read it in four days). To get a relatable point of view on things from somebody like Whitney who has written about them in such a chatty and personal way made me want to rewire my brain even more because she just felt like a comforting and positive friend saying 'hey, let's do this together'.
Whitney, I think your book did actually change my life.
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